[Andy]

This started as a discussion between a buddy of mine and myself over comicbook sidekicks and who has the worst gig. I was able to come up with a shortlist of awful jobs to have in the comicbook rhelm. Here's my top three.

Robin- Statisticly you have a 66% chace of being murdered or ending up with your own gig sporting the world's gayest costume and a mullet. The third costume isn't bad, but the first two boldly announced your homosexuality to the world, Dick. Also only the final Robin was allowed to wear pants. And your name is Robin.

Speedy- You're the worst fastest shot, but that doesn't mean you're accurate or anything. Plus you get to end up addicted to smack. And your name is Speedy.

Aqualad- Again, no pants, plus you're Aquaman's sidekick. You're the inferior half of the Aquaman team. That hurts. And your name is Aqualad.

Anyone care to throw in?

[williamssl]

Extending this to animation and I throw out Sideshow Bob/Mel - sidekicks to Krusty the Clown. One went homicidal and both were forced to do crazy things by their "boss".

From Sideshow Mel's wiki:
Krusty once poured liquid nitrogen down Mel's pants and cracked his buttocks with a hammer.
He was forced to conduct an orchestra of kazoo-playing monkeys. When he pleaded with Krusty to not force him to do it, Krusty simply shouted at him to "shut up and conduct!"


EDIT:

Ooooh I just read about this guy.
"The character is notable for being the only adult sidekick to a teenage superhero, Sylvester Pemberton, the Star-Spangled Kid. " This would suck unless you're in NAMBLA or OpTard.

[Lucky]

figureforeskin said:

Robin- Statisticly you have a 66% chace of being murdered or ending up with your own gig sporting the world's gayest costume and a mullet. The third costume isn't bad, but the first two boldly announced your homosexuality to the world, Dick. Also only the final Robin was allowed to wear pants. And your name is Robin.

Nightwing may have sported a gay costume and mullet for awhile but you can't argue the career. Everyone loves and respects the guy including Superman. And every woman in the DCU wants to do him. Everyone loves and respects Tim too. Being Robin runs a 66% statistical chance of being the ideal internship. Spend a run as an apprentice, come away with a ton of skills and experience, be given a leadership role over your peers, and finally branch out on your own. Plus Batman gives you a nice stipend.

Dick may not have worn pant but it didn't seem to hurt. Ladies still wanted him and guys still listened to him.

Speedy- You're the worst fastest shot, but that doesn't mean you're accurate or anything. Plus you get to end up addicted to smack. And your name is Speedy.

2nd Speedy was an HIV infected street prositute. But in fairness, she was that before she was Speedy.

What difference does it make being called Speedy if you're hanging out with Robin, Aqualad, Kid Flash, and Wondergirl? At least Speedy ain't a bitch. And he wears pants. He rightfully was the one to get to nail Wondergirl.

Plus, he's the sidekick to a rich, liberal, immature womanizer. And Black Canary is always around. C'mon. Tell me he doesn't have a better gig than most?

Aqualad sucks and becomes sucky Tempest.

History will tell us that it sucks to be Wondergirl. The 1st one lost her husband, son, and step daughter in an accident. Had her child become an evil tyrant. Had her own origin rewritten a dozen times. And died at least once. The 2nd one had her boyfriend killed and got abandoned by all her loved ones. And she found out her mommy did Zeus and Ares is her stepbrother. Oh, and mommy's doing a cow now. How awkward must that be? Plus you have one of the worst fashion senses in comic history.

Bucky's got a pretty bad history, no? All of them. Get killed. Go insane. Get brainwashed into a killer. Battlestar just ended up irrelevant.

EDIT: Stripesy had a shitty gig but he became S.T.R.I.P.E. Flying around in a robot suit is a pretty decent turn around.

[Loki]

If you read the Battlestar write up on marvel.com (I had completely forgotten about him) it mentions Typeface. Now THERE is a lame character. "Feel the awesome power of my big letter A!"

[Andy]

Come to think of it, I can only think of one sidekick who's gig didn't suck: War Machine. And even that had to suck at times.

[Jack Quinn]

Ok comic book folks, I have a question for ya - I didn't think this warranted its own thread either.

My nephew watches Teen Titans, so that means I sometimes watch Teen Titans. I noticed Robin on there, now, is this the same Robin that was Batman's lackey? If so, what the hell is he doing with this group?

And if it's not, well then please excuse my almost complete ignorance to all things comic book and comic related

[Andy]

I hate that fuckin' show. Why make an anime out of the Teen Titans?

Look how they ruined Starfire.

How she's supposed to look.


How she looks all shitty and anime'ed


Yeah, that's Robin number 3, Tim Drake. Teen Titans is a comicbook series that has been around for some time. Most of the sidekicks are in there. I believe Aqualad and Speedy are in there occasionally.

[salmonjunkie]

Acutally, Toon Titans Robin acts like and is voiced by the same guy who does Tim Drake but is supposed to be Dick Grayson. Toon Titans doesn't say their real names, but has made playful hints that it's Dick.

[Lucky]

Moose, "Robin" on Teen Titans is Batman's Robin. Totally. Robin in the comic books joined the Teen Titans when there were all sidekicks (Aqualad, Kid Flash, Wondergirl, Speedy) and led them when they became just a group of teen heroes (as represented by the toon's lineup). The Titans have been a mainstay of DC's world for decades and Robin has almost always been a mainstay of the group and their leader. Even when he was "Nightwing" instead of "Robin."

Which "Robin" is a matter of debate but I'm with Sal. The show seems to suggest its Dick (the original) and all evidence seems to support that.

[Andy]

See, I never gave it enough of a chance to pick up on those little details. I'm too annoyed with the animation to watch much of it. I did notice that its that same voice as Tim Drake from the earlier cartoon. So I just assumed. See what happens whet you make an assumption? You make an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'umption.'

[Lucky]

The Tim/Dick thing has been confused a lot. They've never said which. Appearance wise, yeah... it looks like Tim. But give the cast of characters, the stories, and the hints that the toon has dropped its hard to argue that it isn't Dick. They've claimed they don't think it is one way or another but that seems to be a lie. There's stuff like "Dick Grayson" being spelled out in episodes and Robin appearing as Nightwing in the future.

I don't love the animation but I don't hate it. It's a kid's show at heart. I can't get on the animation when I LOVE watching Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends. I mean, are you upset that they turned a voluptous comic character into a teenager? I kind of hated the animation at first. I watched some more and got used to it. I still don't love the show but I think the good outweighs the bad.

Its your call. If you can't get past the animations and anime style I can't blame you. Traditionally I can't either. I ignore TT for a long time and only starting giving it viewings when I realized that it was incorporating so many elements of the comics. And stuff like Terra, Deathstroke, Trigon, and Speedy. But I totally had the animation issues. But again. I now LOVE Foster's so how can I get on cartoonish animation? In a cartoon?

Speedy and Aqualad are both on the show. They both appeared in their own episodes but they're also part of the Titans East team with Bumblebee and Mas y Menos (Bumblebee being a character from the comics and MyM being a toon creation that has now been added to the comics).

[Chris Eco]

Snively from Sonic the Hedgehog has by far the worst job in the world. No power, and gets blamed for everything ever. I don't know if the Archie Comics world is outside our continuity, but whatever.

Donna Troy as Wonder Girl sucked plenty.

And I think Starfire looks cuter now. Because I'm a pedophile.

[salmonjunkie]

Worst sidekick ever? PENFOLD.



(poor chap did make me laugh a lot, though. But I'd never have him by my side. No way)

[Andy]

luckylopez said:

I mean, are you upset that they turned a voluptous comic character into a teenager?

The first picture is Starfire as a teenager. Comics rule.

The second one has a bad case of giant anime head. Look at the size of that girl's melon. It's like an orange on a toothpick. Her head's like Sputnik. Spherical, but pointy in parts.

Oooh, that was a bit offsides, wasn't it. Now she'll cry herself to sleep on her huge pilla.

[salmonjunkie]

The worst sidekick ever is one that would spill your secrets to your worst enemies.

Because of that, I nominate this sidekick as the worst.

[The Canadian Content]

I figured someone would go with this sidekick instead:

[salmonjunkie]

Psychofish, pay attention. Paris is using a T-Mobile Sidekick in that picture...

[The Canadian Content]

Yes, and Nicole Ritchie is (or was) Paris Hilton's sidekick. It was an "I MISS"-style train of thought.

[salmonjunkie]

Ok, I'll buy that.

Can you count Beta Ray Bill as Thor's sidekick?

[The Canadian Content]

For now, I'd say yes. When BRB's in Omega Flight and Thor's still dead, not so much.