The new UWF
Jun 2, 2024 21:53:02 GMT -5
Post by fifthhorseman on Jun 2, 2024 21:53:02 GMT -5
The scene: UWF President Jack Tunney’s office.
Tunney: “In just a few hours, the Underdog Wrestling Federation, or UWF for short, will present its first show. No one is giving us a chance… we didn’t start signing talent until every other territory locked up several past, present, and future Hall of Famers from all over the world. And that’s alright with us. The UWF is all about action, exciting personalities, and giving each wrestler on our roster the opportunity to rise to the top.”
“Our first show is called Here We Go, and on that night we will crown our World Heavyweight champion, our World Superheavyweight champion, and our World Tag-Team champions. The UWF championship committee had a difficult time narrowing down the contenders, but I personally feel that they made the right choices.”
“In addition to those three championship matches at Here We Go, there will be several other dream matches on the card that will undoubtedly have title ramifications later on this month. But why should I tell you about them when they can do it themselves?”
Fadeout from Tunney’s office, into a series of short Saturday Night’s Main Event-styled promos, starting with…
“You think you’re a loose cannon, Brian Pillman? A rebel? A revolutionary? All I see is a guy that never reached his potential but got paid like he did – right, Mr. WWF Guaranteed Contract? Meanwhile, I put my money where my mouth was and dominated every fed, group, and indy I ever lent my presence to!”
“Are you bragging about being an indy god, Cardona? Who f—king cares? And oh, you’re so brave wrestling in a high school gym for 50 bucks and a hot dog after stealing a paycheck from the WWE all those years. You were a joke then, and you’re a joke now, and when I’m done with you, you’re gonna go running back to the garbage leagues like a f—king f—k!”
“I’m a former World champion, and instead of fighting for the UWF World Superheavyweight title, I’m wasting my time in a match against that stupid Irishman Sheamus! You think you’re so tough, punk? You want a real banger? Well, how about we do this ECW style – in a tables match!”
“I’ll give you all the credit in the world for being a powerful lad, and for a 300-pounder you move like a bloody cruiserweight. But you’ve never faced a fella like me before. You were a big fish in a small pond, Awesome. And me? I’ve been the bar for success for the last 15 years, winning titles every time I set my mind to it. Tables match? You’re on, fella!”
“The only reasons Buddy Rogers and yours truly, Nick Bockwinkel, aren’t competing for the UWF World Tag-Team titles are stupid and nonsensical. Does it truly matter if we haven’t been a team before, when between us, we’ve held the World Heavyweight champion six times, not to mention tag gold several times in our careers? No matter. Proving ourselves against a pair of thugs like the North-South Connection is child’s play.”
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“Bockwinkel, Rogers, you think you’re better than us? Well, in just a few hours you’re gonna find out the difference between two good wrestlers and one great team. Me and Adrian have been beating up pretty boys like you two all our lives, and mark my words, you ain’t got the skills or the guts to beat us. You’re just a speed bump on our way to the UWF World Tag-Team belts!”
Tunney: “In just a few hours, the Underdog Wrestling Federation, or UWF for short, will present its first show. No one is giving us a chance… we didn’t start signing talent until every other territory locked up several past, present, and future Hall of Famers from all over the world. And that’s alright with us. The UWF is all about action, exciting personalities, and giving each wrestler on our roster the opportunity to rise to the top.”
“Our first show is called Here We Go, and on that night we will crown our World Heavyweight champion, our World Superheavyweight champion, and our World Tag-Team champions. The UWF championship committee had a difficult time narrowing down the contenders, but I personally feel that they made the right choices.”
“In addition to those three championship matches at Here We Go, there will be several other dream matches on the card that will undoubtedly have title ramifications later on this month. But why should I tell you about them when they can do it themselves?”
Fadeout from Tunney’s office, into a series of short Saturday Night’s Main Event-styled promos, starting with…
“You think you’re a loose cannon, Brian Pillman? A rebel? A revolutionary? All I see is a guy that never reached his potential but got paid like he did – right, Mr. WWF Guaranteed Contract? Meanwhile, I put my money where my mouth was and dominated every fed, group, and indy I ever lent my presence to!”
“Are you bragging about being an indy god, Cardona? Who f—king cares? And oh, you’re so brave wrestling in a high school gym for 50 bucks and a hot dog after stealing a paycheck from the WWE all those years. You were a joke then, and you’re a joke now, and when I’m done with you, you’re gonna go running back to the garbage leagues like a f—king f—k!”
“I’m a former World champion, and instead of fighting for the UWF World Superheavyweight title, I’m wasting my time in a match against that stupid Irishman Sheamus! You think you’re so tough, punk? You want a real banger? Well, how about we do this ECW style – in a tables match!”
“I’ll give you all the credit in the world for being a powerful lad, and for a 300-pounder you move like a bloody cruiserweight. But you’ve never faced a fella like me before. You were a big fish in a small pond, Awesome. And me? I’ve been the bar for success for the last 15 years, winning titles every time I set my mind to it. Tables match? You’re on, fella!”
“The only reasons Buddy Rogers and yours truly, Nick Bockwinkel, aren’t competing for the UWF World Tag-Team titles are stupid and nonsensical. Does it truly matter if we haven’t been a team before, when between us, we’ve held the World Heavyweight champion six times, not to mention tag gold several times in our careers? No matter. Proving ourselves against a pair of thugs like the North-South Connection is child’s play.”
[/b][/div]
“Bockwinkel, Rogers, you think you’re better than us? Well, in just a few hours you’re gonna find out the difference between two good wrestlers and one great team. Me and Adrian have been beating up pretty boys like you two all our lives, and mark my words, you ain’t got the skills or the guts to beat us. You’re just a speed bump on our way to the UWF World Tag-Team belts!”