[Chris Eco]

OOC: Trust me, Sergei. It will all come together...

(Sabian is hanging out backstage when a frustrated Torrie and Alicia come by.)



Sabian: Hey ladies, what's the matter?

Alicia: It's too ridiculous to talk about.

Torrie: Nothing really, we just got assigned to a stupid...um, excuse me?

(Sabian has moved his head in closer to the point where his face is almost between Torrie's breasts.)

Sabian: No, no, keep talking. I'ma just motorboat down here. (starts rubbing his face in)

(Torrie pushes Sabian off and slaps him. The two girls walk off disgusted. Sabian tries to sneak up behind and slap Alicia's ass but a hand stops him.)

Antonio Rocca: Want to cut that out, kid?

Sabian: Man, who are you and why are you gettin' in my business?

Rocca: My name is Antonio Rocca. I'm a Hall of Fame wrestler, but I wouldn't expect someone like you to know that?

Sabian: Like me?

Rocca: Yes, like you. I know you don't care. It's fitting that we're wrestling in Bridgeport, because people like you have been ruining places like Bridgeport for decades.

Sabian: People like me, huh? Come out and say it, boy. You got a problem with the dark folks, huh?

Rocca: Oh please, don't flatter yourself by making yourself a victim of racism. You belong to a much bigger tribe. The happily ignorant. The actively uncouth. Glorifying drug use, calling other wrestlers "faggots"...you have never done a constructive thing in your entire life, and you encourage others to hold you up as a model.

Sabian: All right, you got me on some of that. But it's not my job to be "constructive". My job is to de-construct, to take stuck-up assholes like you, down a peg. Now, does your ass have a match yet, or no?

Rocca: As a matter of fact, I was about to go challenge Mr. Hashimoto--

Sabian: Fuck Hash-boy. You ain't insulting me and looking past me like that. Either you're letting me kick your ass in the ring, or I'ma have to do it here.

Rocca: (smiling) Fine. Let's make it official.

(Rocca and Sabian walk over to Batista's office, which is conveniently next door. Batista is busy signing off on matches.)



Batista: You and Linda want a Texas strap match...fantastic. *stamp* I can't imagine why you'd want to be in a Strap Match with a dominatrix, but go for it.

Jacqueline: Honey, even a dominatrix can't beat me in ass-whipping.

Batista: Lovely. Too Cool and 3 Count want a TLC Match...REALLY?

Hurricane: You're free to reject it.

Shannon: No way! We want this match, we're going to kick their ass! It's going to be awesome! You won the tag titles in a TLC match, remember?

Hurricane: I didn't even participate! Kane did all the work.

Batista: Can I stamp this or what?

Hurricane: Um...

Shannon: Yeah! Come on!

Batista: Great. *stamp* Rocca, Sabian, what do you two want?

Rocca: Well, this guy challenged me to a match--

Batista: I figured. Stipulation?

(Sabian and Rocca look at each other.)

Sabian: Um, we don't have one of those--

Batista: You two both do flippy shit, right?

Rocca: I prefer not to call it--

Sabian: Hellz yeah!

Batista: Great. You two will be starring in our Flippy Shit Match. You can only win the match with a move where both feet leave the ground. Deal?

Sabian: Sure.

Rocca: Fine. Only thing is, I had wanted a match with Shinya Hash--

Batista: --is already booked against Giant Baba in a meeting of the Japanese superstars. Have a fantastic day and get out of my office.

[Matte]

(Wrestlers May Only Win With A Move In Which Both Feet Leave The Ground)

I'm going to make a prediction: Rocca over Sabian via dropkick.

It's good to see you're making good use of Greg Helms and Shannon Moore, too.

And I love the wacky handicap match. It seems like a really cool idea. It's almost like a triple threat, but with Dragon being handed a loss no matter what happens.

[Chris Eco]

Thanks Matte, I'm glad you traded those folks to me.

Also, I somehow have 15 fucking matches on my card. I'm going to kick the Gunns/Borden payoff down the road and consolidate them into Jacqueline/Linda right now...I'll have to figure out what else I feel comfortable cutting. (I'll take suggestions too.)

[Batman]

I love Helms' reluctance. Funny stuff. Rocca was well written, too.

[Road Warrior Shark]

Being lost in your promos is an awesome jericho/malenko matchup.

and the fathers of wrestling 3 way is interesting, but old school guys didn't really do 3-ways... maybe a round robin series instead?

[Chris Eco]

Shark, you're poking at two promos I never had time to write and may slip into the showdown.

1) CM Punk confronts Malenko about his previous railing against older stars holding younger guys down, and Malenko replies that a) he never truly got his shot and b) he did a hell of a lot more to earn his spot on the way up than Punk ever did.

2) Thesz and Santo approach Batista pissed off about the format (and about the insertion of two Japanese wrestlers and a Japanese referee, if I decided before noon to pull the trigger on moving Baba into the match and making Hashimoto my referee).

[Chris Eco]

Okay, massive overhaul to the show. All will be explained in the showdown.

[Batman]

I'm sad that there wasn't room for donkeys and elephants, and the "flippy shit" match could have been fun.

But Barack Obama's awesome promo makes up for it. You nailed his voice perfectly.

[Chris Eco]

Thanks Sergei. Those two matches will both happen, just not on this card. I'll be in the process of slapping up results all day when I get breaks at work.

[Angle]

Just read the card, and I'm gonna call it right now. Eco wins this whole thing.

[Chris Eco]

(Chris Jericho is standing in the ring with his Light Heavyweight Championship around his waist.)



Jericho: To all of those out there who doubted me, I say doubt no more. CNLL has a new champion, a new flagship, a beacon of light who will take this company to a new level and perhaps even the end of this tournament, and his name is Chris Jericho.

("I Walk Alone" hits the PA System and General Manager David Batista comes out to the stage, full intro and fireworks.)



Jericho: David, what could possibly be SO important that you have to come out here and interrupt my victory speech?

Batista: Well Chris, as you may have noticed last night, despite the best efforts of your goon, I remained General Manager. (Cheers.) And now, I'm going to exercise my right to make a match. You and me, in the ring together, at the next show.

Jericho: Oh no no no no NO! See Dave, you are constantly overestimating your power. You may be a very important lackey for The Corporation, but I am the Light Heavyweight Champion. And this Championship, by Corporation rules, MUST be defended at EVERY show. And Dave...you'd have to lose some serious LB's before qualifying for my title.

Batista: (Frustrated) Fine, Chris, fine. You know what, you're right. But you know what? I'm going to get my match with you, because I'm going to get that title off your waist. At our next show, it's going to be Chris Jericho in a GAUNTLET MATCH to retain his title against not one, not two, but THREE wrestlers.

(Audience cheers as Jericho flips out.)

Jericho: WHAT? You can't do that! That's--that's not fair, that's not even reasonable!

Batista: Oh it's fine. They'll be wrestling qualifying matches throughout the night, so they'll have had earlier matches too. No big deal. I'm sure a great champion like yourself can handle it.

(Batista heads backstage as Jericho throws a tantrum.)

[Batman]

Awesome. But did we ever see the Jericho / Malenko ME of the first show? If it's up somewhere, I missed it.

[Chris Eco]

Edited in now, at least on this page. All that's important: Malenko won the first fall, Jericho won the following two--but he won the last by cheating.

New Card! (more details to come)

Consejo Nuevo de Lucha Ligera
"The Gauntlet Is Thrown"

Opening Promo...from the President of the United States, Barack Obama!

POTUS: My fellow citizens, I welcome you to the second show of the Consejo Nuevo de Lucha Libre, the New Council of Lightweight Wrestling. Last week, you and I had the privilege of watching a fantastic show filled with high flying, technical skill, and unfortunately, a little chicanery here and there.

As you know, my Supreme Court nominee, Judge Sonia Sotomayor, has begun her Senate hearings this week. Many of Judge Sotomayor's detractors have taken to playing the race card, confusing the value of Judge Sotomayor's life experience with a bias that would threaten those who came before her. They are too focused on the politics of division to see the blessings of diversity. On this night, then, I extend my greatest congratulations to CNLL, whose success is inextricably linked to its diversity--of gender, ethnicity, socioeconomic class, nationality, and indeed, (smiling) even diversity of era. May God bless you, these competitors, and the United States of America.

Chairs Legal Match
For a Spot in the TLC Tag Title Rematch

Sabian/Antonio Rocca vs. Lou Thesz/Rikidozan

[/b][/center]

Backstory:
Sabian challenged Antonio Rocca to a match after Rocca claimed "people like him" were ruining America today, which General Manager David Batista then designated a "flippy shit match" where their feet would always leave the ground. Upon the overcrowding of the card, and the introduction of two great NWA Heavyweight Champions toward the end of the match, the two wrestlers were consolidated into a #1 contender's rumble from which they were the first two eliminated. Unimpressed, Batista forced them to delay their singles match further, putting them in an odd-couple tag team to contend for the TLC match given their high-flying expertise.

Lou Thesz and Rikidozan, while opponents last week in the Fathers of Wrestling Match Thesz won, have a history of mutual respect forged in 60-minute time-limit draws in Japan. While they are deeply unfamiliar and uncomfortable with the "TLC" style, they are two legendary light heavyweights and expect to be able to move on to that match.

Winner:
*Thesz gains a near-fall early on when he powerbombs Rocca on a chair Rikidozan has slid in, but Sabian breaks up the count.
*Sabian drags a whole cart of chairs down to the ring at the start of the match, which he later uses to break up a potential Thesz-Rikidozan tag by just chucking chairs like crazy at Riki, one catching him above the eyebrow and knocking him to the outside apron.
*Lou Thesz has Sabian stumbling and is setting him up for a chair shot. Antonio Rocca calls out to Thesz, who spins around, and jumps off a set-up chair, dropkicking Thesz's chair into his face and allowing Sabian to get the cover.

Flag Match
Featuring a Live Elephant and Donkey ringside, courtesy Sergei!

Shawn Daivari vs. Ernie "Big Cat" Ladd

Backstory:

Ernie Ladd, legendary heel and Republican fundraiser, specifically requested to join the company to go after outspoken leftist Shawn Daivari, who had recently become a fan favorite with the liberal Connecticut audience. Upon the overcrowding of the card, and the introduction of two great NWA Heavyweight Champions toward the end of the match, Batista requested that all six wrestlers merge into one rumble for the first show, with the incentive of a #1 Contender shot for any title they wanted in the balance. Daivari went to the end with Giant Baba, but fell short of claiming his World Title Shot. Instead, he now faces Ladd in a Flag Match by Ladd's request--with the Iranian flag in one corner and the American flag in another.

Highlights:
*Ernie Ladd comes down to the ring with a microphone.

Ladd: Hey ya raghead cabdriver! Check this out!

Ernie Ladd pretends to ram the donkey from behind before coming in the ring. Daivari is absolutely stoic and does not react.
*At one point, Ernie Ladd is going up for the American flag following a taped thumb to the throat. Daivari manages to jump up and kick the top rope, crotching Ladd before Daivari pulls him off to the ground.
*Daivari then hops up to the American flag side before pulling out something from behind--a rolled carpet! MAGIC CARPET SPLASH on Ernie Ladd!
*Daivari pulls down the Iranian flag to win. He steps down and is about to wave it when he stops. He then walks over to the opposite corner and climbs up, grabbing the American flag. He carefully climbs down to the apron, and begins waving them both to the crowd's overwhelming cheering. He then takes a microphone after handing the flags off to Nikki Heyman to wave.

Daivari: YA HOSSEIN!
Crowd: Eh?
Daivari: YA HOSSEIN!
Crowd: YA HOSSEIN!
Daivari: YA HOSSEIN!
Crowd: YA HOSSEIN!
Daivari: Thank you. May peace be upon those who seek truth in the homeland of my parents tonight, especially the students.

For the First Spot in the LH Title Gauntlet Match

Jerry Lynn vs. Mil Mascaras

When CM Punk cheerfully introduced Jerry Lynn and tried to bond over their status as former ECW champions, Lynn expressed his discontent with the current version of ECW vis-a-vis the original. Ever the self-righteous prick, Punk verbally tore apart the old ECW, basically calling its wrestlers degenerate wife-beating druggies. This confrontation led to a Hardcore Match, with weapons provided by the fans in Bridgeport. While CM Punk was victorious in that contest, GM Batista was so impressed by the effort of (and the fans' reaction to) Jerry Lynn that he offered him a shot in the Gauntlet. Mil Mascaras, recently aligned with El Santo against Rey Misterio, was replaced as Gory Guerrero's partner in the TLC qualifier so as to allow the original La Pareja Atomica to contend for the titles after the failure of Gory and Mil the week before. As one of the most legendary lucha performers of all time, the newly available Mil Mascaras was quickly hustled into this match by Batista.

Highlights:
*Mil Mascaras takes an early advantage following his Cross Chop when he dropkicks Jerry Lynn out of the ring and takes him down with a flying crossbody to the outside. Mascaras is too slow to get Lynn back in the ring for a pin, however.
*Jerry Lynn hops up with a tornado DDT attempt, which Mascaras partially reverses into a back-body drop, but Lynn leans his weight sideways, lands on his feet, and nails Mascaras with a brainbuster.
*Jerry Lynn catches a Mil Mascaras suicide dive before he takes the full impact to his gut, hooks up the arms, CRADLE TO THE GRAVE PILEDRIVER! Lynn quickly rolls Mascaras back into the ring, 1-2-3, that's it.
*After the match, Lynn extends his hand to Mascaras, who takes it and shakes it.

Lumberjill Match for the CNLL Women's Title

Beth Phoenix vs. Jazz

(Lumberjills: Melina Perez, Torrie Wilson, Alicia Fox, Jacqueline Moore, Major Gunns, Linda Miles, Lizzy Borden)

[/b]
[/center]

Backstory:
Melina was drafted by Batista and was excited to be awarded the CNLL Women's Championship--until she found out it was based on their sexual history alone. Angry, she kicked Batista in the balls, who, angry, assigned her to face both Beth Phoenix and Jazz in the steel cage. Melina would come out during the first show to halt Alicia Fox's assault on Torrie Wilson after their match, but she was sneak attacked by Jazz--and then saved by Beth! Beth won the title afterward, with Melina partially incapacitated by a sneak-attack by Alicia. Rather than allow Melina a direct chance, Batista chose to give Jazz the rematch for the time being due to his remaining annoyance at the former champion. Melina and Alicia were both named lumberjills, however, to be joined by Torrie Wilson (obviously angry with Alicia), as well as Jacqueline, Major Gunns, Linda Miles, and Lizzy Borden (all of whom have entirely separate issues stemming from Lizzy and Linda's multiple assaults on the other two.)

Highlights:
*As soon as the bell rings, the two competitors immediately go after each other--as well as the lumberjills! Melina and Alicia begin exchanging fisticuffs as Torrie waits for her spot, Jacqueline drops Linda and puts the boots to her as Major and Lizzy roll around. Inside the ring, Jazz manages to clothesline Beth Phoenix outside, but the only one who seems to notice is Torrie who helps Beth back in.
*Alicia hides under the ring from Melina and Torrie who drag her out, only to find her with a singapore cane that gets CRACKED over Melina's head. Torrie jumps on Alicia's back, but Alicia flips her off to the mat and nails her with another one.
*Jazz pulls Beth up into the Bitch Clamp double chickenwing, but Beth grabs the ropes with her legs to break the hold. Jazz, angrily, pushes her over, right on top of Lizzy Borden who had just been powerslammed by Major Gunns!
*Jazz goes up to the top turnbuckle to leap on the prone Beth, but Linda throws Jacqueline into the ring post, causing Jazz to stumble off and land HARD and AWKWARDLY on the steel steps.
*Beth, smelling blood, rolls Jazz in the ring and pulls her up for the Glam Slam. 1-2-3, Beth retains!
*Security runs down to break up the remaining lumberjill fights, while Alicia stands at the top of the ramp, smiling at the knocked-out Melina.

For the Second Spot in the LH Title Gauntlet Match

Dean Malenko vs. Pedro Morales

Backstory:
This match could very well be called "The Revenge of the Screwjob". After weeks of silent training for the match, Dean Malenko had Jericho tied 1-1 in falls, when Jericho used a foreign object to knock Malenko out for the Lionsault. Meanwhile, Pedro Morales assented to a rematch with Bruno Sammartino of the last time they faced, in which they wrestled to a draw and Morales retained his WWWF title. This time, however, unbeknownst to Morales, Sammartino used legs and tights for an assisted pinfall and victory. Due to conflicts with Batista's desire to punish Jericho with a gauntlet and Giant Baba's Money in the Bank status, neither could have a direct rematch, so GM Batista decided to give them both a shot at the World Title via the Gauntlet.

Highlights:
*Morales takes control early with hard right hands. Malenko tries to slow down the flurry with a back armbar, but Morales runs him backward into the post and puts the boots to him.
*Malenko gets the momentum back when Morales charges him in the corner and he evades, causing Morales to go shoulder-first into the ringpost. Malenko quickly capitalizes with a cross-armbar stretching out the impacted shoulder.
*All shoulder-focused offense from Malenko for a while, until Morales manages to reverse one of the armbar variations into a backbreaker. He quickly goes to the top rope and comes off with a Caribbean Cannonball Seanton, but his shoulder injury slows him down with the pin and he only gets a two-count.
*After a little more offense, Morales goes back up top for a second try, but Malenko manages to follow him up and tweak his shoulder with a front arm clamp. He then clamps the other shoulder--Double Underhook Powerbomb from Malenko! 1-2-3, Malenko advances!

MMA Challenge Match

Bobby Lashley vs. Shinya Hashimoto

Backstory:
Jericho talked the Board of Directors into allowing Batista to have a match at the first event, and put Lashley on his own payroll, sneak-attacking Batista with the big man. For the sake of excitement, the Corporation decided Jericho and Batista should be able to pick the stipulation for the other's match--and Jericho decided to have Batista put his General Manager status on the line. Lashley later confronted Batista about what he saw as Batista's unfair rise to the top, predicated on steroids and backstage politics. Batista thoughtfully responded by beating the shit out of Lashley. Lashley had expected revenge on Batista once in the ring, due to his superior MMA skills--but a wide gash opened on his head early prevented him from ever capitalizing. With Batista not particularly forthcoming with a rematch offer, Lashley offered an open MMA challenge to any available wrestler backstage to prove his mettle--and Shinya Hashimoto, former NWA champion with a ju-jitsu background, came to test him.

Highlights:
*The two competitors are fighting in a cage, UFC style. Shinya keeps Bobby at bay with kicks at first, but Bobby hooks under one of Shinya's legs to take him down and start pounding on him.
*Lashley attempts to get a rear naked joke on Hashimoto, but the bigger Hashimoto manages to fight his way up and run Lashley back-first into the cage.
*Hashimoto and Lashley begin trading punches, with Lashley getting the better of Hashimoto. Spearing Hashimoto to the ground, he tries another choke lock, but Hashimoto breaks out after weakening his grip with a hard knee to Lashley's gut.
*Lashley, frustrated, reverts to wrestling and pulls Hashimoto in and up for a Dominator. Hashimoto slides off, however, and nails him with a hard kick to the head. Lashley goes down and does not answer the count in time. Hashimoto wins by knockout!
*After the match, Batista comes out, laughing and clapping. Lashley rolls out of the ring and angrily confronts Batista.

Lashley: The hell was that? There are no kicks to the back of the head in MMA!
Batista: Bobby, please stop your bellyaching. Fact is, I had some news for you--
Lashley: I don't care about your news! I want my match now! You think you're so bad, I should have kicked your ass last week if you hadn't--
(Batista SPINEBUSTERS Lashley on the steel ramp to a huge pop. He then picks his microphone back up.)
Batista: Like I said, Bobby, I have some news for you. See, Jericho is a little unimpressed with your performance as of late. He's decided to cut you off from payment out of his salary. And as you know, your contract is conditional on Jericho's payment. So Lashley...YOU'RE FIRED!
Crowd: NA-NA-NA-NA, NA-NA-NA-NA, HEY HEY HEY, GOODBYE!

Tables Legal Match for a Spot in the TLC Tag Title Rematch

Sir Ronald Killings/Gorgeous George vs. Too Cool (Scotty 2 Hotty/Grandmaster Sexay)

Backstory:

Backstory: In their simultaneous drafting, both wrestlers managed to insult the other's sensibilities--George by refusing to shake Killings's hand without a glove, Killings by his over-casual manner of dress. Being rather aggressive competitors, they agreed to have a match to settle the issue in which the loser would fall under the tutelage of the winner. Killings lost the match following a brass-knuckles assisted fist drop and was transformed into "Sir Ronald Killings". Meanwhile, Too Cool competed in the original TLC tag match, but a failure at a table-assisted W-O-R-M cost them the match. The two eagerly took this stipulation out of the three, expecting to defeat George and Killings and hoping for a chance to brush up on their table skills.

Highlights:
*Sir Ronald Killings and Gorgeous George enter, with Killings sporting a monocle, cane, white gloves and top hat. He doesn't look particularly happy about any of this.
*Match begins with Gorgeous George fighting Sexay, matching high-flying move for high-flying move. After Sexay misses with a Hip-Hop drop, George dropkicks him down and goes for a tag to Killings, who does so reluctantly.
*As Grandmaster Sexay and Killings brawl in-ring, Scotty 2 Hotty and Geroge brawl outside, with Scotty setting up Gorgeous George on a table outside. He climbs up on the apron and gestures for the Worm. Killings dropkicks Scotty through the ropes however, sending him falling to the mat below.
*After incapacitating Scotty with a DDT, George slides the table in the ring and sets it up as Killings and Sexay brawl in the opposite corner. After Killings takes down Sexay with a Scissors Kick, George flops Sexay onto the table. Killings, eyeing George warily, climbs to the top rope and comes off with a Hang Time 450 Splash through the table. 1-2-3, Sir Ronald Killings and Gorgeous George advance!

Legends Title Match

Bruno Sammartino vs. Giant Baba

Backstory:
Batista, noticing Bruno Sammartino and Pedro Morales had dropped surprisingly far in the PWA draft, snatched them both up for a match despite Sammartino's heavyweight status. Sammartino was especially keen on getting a second chance to beat Morales, and abused Batista's Choose-Your-Stipulation offer to make the Legends Title awarded based on the results of their match. Sammartino won the match with rope assistance without Morales knowing. However, Giant Baba had been hot-shotted into a Money in the Bank Rumble earlier that night, using his considerable size to pull out the victory over Daivari at the end. He then challenged Sammartino to a title match immediately after witnessing his chicanery.

Highlights:
*The beginning of the match is all Baba, with slams, overhead chops, and even a big running neckbreaker. Bruno manages to get up every time, but his usual strongman offense is ineffectual against the big guy.
*Bruno plays chickenshit for a bit, rolling in and out of the ring to avoid Baba's power moves. Finally, he comes in and clips Baba at the knees, taking him down hard.
*From there, Sammartino moves into submission wrestling, focusing on the knee of Baba to keep him from moving back to a power base. Baba fights up and tries a Big Boot, but Sammartino dodges and hooks the leg, pulling Baba down HARD. He puts a half-Boston crab on Baba from there, lowering his weight downward so as to avoid Baba kicking him off. Baba flails for a bit, but is unable to break the hold and ends up tapping out. Sammartino retains his Legends Title.
*Baba hobbles up to shake Sammartino's hand after the match, but Sammartino snubs him and walks out JUST LIKE HE may have SNUBBED RIC FLAIR THAT BASTARD.

For the Final Spot in the LH Title Gauntlet Match
w/
CM Punk vs. Hurricane w/ Shannon Moore

Backstory:
Shannon Moore, upon being drafted from the Matte Wrestling Federation, volunteered Gregory "Hurricane" Helms (against his will) as a tag partner to reform 3 Count and face off against Too Cool for the tag championships. Hurricane has been increasingly reluctant to surrender his lucrative singles career and tie himself back to Shannon, particularly when Shannon signed them up for a dangerous TLC match. To the horror of Hurricane, Shannon managed to scurry up the ladder after a luchador brawl and win the titles for the reformed 3-Count. GM Batista agreed to give Hurricane a chance in the gauntlet match to take a shot at singles competition--but only against CM Punk, with Punk coming off his brutal hardcore secondary main event win again Jerry Lynn.

Highlights:
*Nikki Heyman very obviously marks for Hurricane as he enters, posing alongside him.
*The two go back and forth for a bit, with CM Punk successfully grounding Hurricane for a bit, but Hurricane switches momentum with a Shining Wizard out of nowhere to the head of CM Punk!
*Hurricane lands a Hurri-chokeslam on CM Punk! One-Two-Not Enough. Hurricane goes up top and comes off with a crossbody, but Punk catches him and flips him up for a GTS! One-Two-STILL not enough!
*As Nikki Heyman checks on the dazed Hurricane, CM Punk goes to the top rope. Shannon Moore runs up and knocks Punk off, but not before Concrete turns around and, with a heavy heart, disqualifies Hurricane. CM Punk advances to the gauntlet match.
*After the match, Hurricane and Shannon Moore share a few words. Shannon Moore looks apologetic, and Hurricane just turns his head down and walks out, not waiting for Moore to follow.

Ladders Legal Match for a Spot in the TLC Tag Title Rematch

Rey Misterio/El Hijo del Santo vs. La Pareja Atomica (Gory Guerrero/El Santo)

Backstory:
Rey Misterio was originally going to face Malenko and Jericho for the world title, but El Santo, angry about what he saw as Misterio's slights against lucha libre, demanded to face him or quit. When Santo agreed to step into the Legends Match, he was compensated by being replaced with Mil Mascaras and Gory Guerrero (with his own grudges against Rey using his family name) in a handicap match--until his own son, El Hijo de Santo, decided to step in and offer his services as Rey's partner. Due to Rey's status as a former world champion and his original contract stating he would have a world title shot, their tag match was combined into the TLC Match so that Rey's team would have a shot at the tag titles. Rey's team fell short, due in part to the single-minded assault of Mascaras and Guerrero, both during and after the match. With this in mind, GM Batista decided to give them a shot at a rematch, pairing up this time directly against El Santo with the reformation of the great lucha team La Pareja Atomica. The two teams earned the ladder stipulation, in part due to its ubiquity as the means of assault of Guerrero and Mascaras in the TLC match.

Highlights:
*Lots and lots of flippy shit. Nikki Heyman loses control of this one early, with the participants treating the match much more like a four-man with alliances than a *tag*-team match.
*The tecnicos get an advantage after a while, with Rey Misterio kicking El Santo off the top rope out of the ring. El Hijo de Santo drop toeholds Gory Guerrero into the ropes, but as Rey goes for the 619, El Santo nails him in the chest with the ladder, sending him falling back.
*With the ladder set up in the corner, El Santo LAWNDARTS Rey face first into the ladder. Santo is then tackled by El Hijo del Santo, who follows his father outside the ring and continues brawling with him there.
*As Rey stumbles away from the ladder, blood bleeding out from inside the mask, Gory Guerrero pulls Rey Misterio up into the Gory Special. Rey is refusing to tap, but he fades slowly, with the referee ringing for the bell as he is rendered unconscious.

Gauntlet Match for the CNLL Light Heavyweight Championship

1. Chris Jericho vs. Jerry Lynn

2. Chris Jericho vs. Dean Malenko

3. Dean Malenko vs. CM Punk

Backstory:
From his initial placement as #1 Pick, Jericho was assured a spot in the World Title Match, despite his constant antagonism (and with hired gun Lashley, assault) of GM Batista. In choosing Jericho's match's stipulation, Batista sought a measure of revenge by making his match against the great technical wrestler Dean Malenko a Best of Three Falls match, with the second decided by submission and the third allowing a fall anywhere. Jericho managed to win the match by incapacitating Malenko with a foreign object before executing a huge Lionsault. Batista, incapable of challenging Jericho to a match to get his revenge on him so long as Jericho needs to defend his light-heavyweights-only title, decided to almost force the belt off of Jericho in a four-man gauntlet match which Jericho would start.

Highlights:
*First Round: Jerry Lynn has mostly recovered from his first match, but Chris Jericho is completely fresh. Chris Jericho is mostly dominant, but out of nowhere at one point, Lynn catches Jericho with a knee to the gut, quick flip, PILEDRIVER! Somehow, Jericho kicks out in time. Lynn makes the mistake of going off the top with a lariat, but Jericho pops up and grabs Lynn's head, dropping him into a Codebreaker! Jericho quickly capitalizes for a pinfall.
*Second Round: The match is exceedingly long, with Jericho kicking out of the Underhook Powerbomb and Malenko kicking out of a Codebreaker that busted him open. Eventually, a bloody Malenko evades Jericho's Lionsault and pops up to grab Jericho's legs. Malenko has Jericho in the Cloverleaf in the center of the ring, and Jericho cannot drag himself to any of the sides of the ring. Malenko plants his foot on Jericho's neck, which was injured by Lynn's piledriver, and after two long minutes, Jericho is forced to tap out. DEAN MALENKO IS THE CNLL LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!
*Third Round: As Dean Malenko is stumbling and looking toward the ramp, CM Punk, ever the opportunist, runs in from the audience and NAILS him from behind with a hard kick to the head. Punk scoops him for Go-To-Sleep, and 1-2-3, that's enough to pin the beaten down Malenko. CM PUNK IS THE NEW CNLL LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!

With Your General Manager, David Batista!

Featuring The Best Announce Team in the Business, Jim Ross and Jay Leno!

And Your Referee...ConcreteTG!

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[/center]

[Mr. Dashbee]

I like your idea of taking the 3 aspects of the TLC match and breaking them into individual stips for the qualifying matches. Good job.

[The Canadian Content]

Jul 14, 2009 14:46:54 GMT -5 Mr. Dashbee said:

I like your idea of taking the 3 aspects of the TLC match and breaking them into individual stips for the qualifying matches. Good job.

Agreed. Nice twist.

[Batman]

I loved the finish of the main event. I like the whole, "Yeah I hit you with the international object and could probably just pin you now, but now that I know you'll hold still, I want to hit you with this REALLY IMPRESSIVE move." Good Show.

The next one is shaping up pretty awesome, too. A lot of great ideas, and if a couple of those are my great ideas, all the better.

Y'know I didn't even realize that you were leading up to George/Killings joining the tag division; that should have been obvious. I think that I just think of them as main-event or near-main-event guys. But they should be hilarious in the tag ranks.

[Chris Eco]

Thanks team. I'll try to load background and results before tournament goes up--there is at least rationality behind the Tables and Ladders stips, if not the Chairs one.

Oh, and just so everyone knows: I COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY STOLE the "Batista-needs-the-belt-off-Jericho" idea from Sergei, as well as the Live Elephant/Donkey.

And yeah, Sabian/Rocca and George/Killings are my two odd-couple teams. Long term: One will grow in respect, one will implode badly.

[Batman]

Oh, I also really like that Tables (etc.) are only legal. I always hate stips like the Tables Match or First Blood where as soon as something cool happens the match is over.

Byrne is doing something similar with his main event where you have to bleed first before you can win by usual cage match stips. Good stuff.

[Chris Eco]

(David Batista is in the ring, out of suit, pacing.)



Batista: Oh Jericho...come out, come out, wherever you are.

(Jericho does not enter the ring. Batista takes a paper from the ring crew.)

Batista: No more light heavyweight championship, Chris. You can't avoid me anymore. Now why don't you be a good employee and come down here and sign this contract making the match between us official, huh?



(Jericho hits the stage, mic in hand.)

Jericho: Wow, Dave. Love the energy. I miss the attempt at professionalism, but as it stands, I don't think you'll be needing it anymore.

Batista: Will you stop being a pussy, and get down here and sign the damn contract?

Jericho: (smirking) Dave, first of all, you are aware that my title loss is connected with a REMATCH clause, correct?

Batista: Yes I am. So does Dean Malenko's. And the two of you will be wrestling at CNLL 3: Score to Settle to determine who the real #1 contender is. But nothing in your contract, and I mean nothing, says I can't double-book you for the night. (The crowd cheers.)

Jericho: Oh see, but that's the problem there Dave! Your double-booking. See, this isn't the Dead Wrestling Society, where you get to triple-book one of your biggest stars and everyone is cool with it. See, the Board of Directors weren't particularly happy when they heard about the gauntlet match you put me in last week, guaranteeing I would lose the belt.

Batista: Bullshit, Chris. When you lost to Malenko, you both had wrestled one other match that night. You're just making excuses. Excuses, excuses...

Jericho: Will you SHUT UP and LISTEN TO ME! (boos) They were especially unhappy to hear you did it because of your own personal problems with me. It struck them as...rather unprofessional. So then, I let them know that I too was unpleased. That unless they gave me what I wanted, I was jumping ship to Eric's National Championship Wrestling Federation! (The crowd boos.)

JR: How dare Jericho try to renege on his contract like that!

Jericho: So I got what I wanted. I got what Bobby Lashley, assclown as he is, failed to give me. (smirks) I'm your new General Manager, Dave.

(The crowd boos. Batista goes apeshit.)

Leno: I don't believe it, JR! We have a new boss!

JR: Well, I really don't believe it! Something sounds fishy here. Why didn't the Board just trade Jericho if he was so damn unhappy?

Jericho: Oh relax, Dave. Because I'm going to give you your match. On just one condition. One measly old condition.

Batista: Give them to me.

Jericho: (walking down to the ring) You have a match earlier the same night, with a wrestler to be determined later. A wrestler I acquired in my dealings with the National Championship Wrestling Federation. You sign the contract, and I'll sign yours.

(Jericho enters the ring and hands Batista the contract, and he immediately signs.)

Batista: That's fine. I got no problem bashing in your goon's head, before getting to you. But before you sign my contract and strut on out of here, Chris, I just want you to know that was dirty. And not just going behind my back like that, but playing politics in that fashion. Rey Misterio was our #2 pick, Chris, and he hasn't had a world title shot yet. Do you see him play politics like that? No. He understands he has to earn it. You can be GM if it means that much to you Chris. And even though it was part of my contract, I won't bolt. I won't run crying to the office. Because at the end of the day, I can rest peacefully, knowing I had earned the right to keep that position and you never did.

(Crowd cheers loudly. Chris Jericho just gets a bigger smile on his face.)

Jericho: What if I earned it?

Batista: Excuse me?

Jericho: Put it on the contract, Dave. Our match at Score to Settle? Will be for the General Management of CNLL.

(The crowd cheers wildly.)

JR: Something's damn fishy here. Why would Jericho agree to that?

Leno: I guess his competitive nature got the best of him.

Batista: (smiling back as he edits the contract) Done.

Jericho: (taking the contract and signs it) So we're set on all the matches?

Batista: Set in stone.

Jericho: And just refresh me on GM rules--can I strike a match that has been signed under contract if I want to?

Batista: Absolutely not.

Jericho: Great Dave. Thanks. I'll catch you later.

(Jericho exits the ring as Batista watches him go. Suddenly Jericho turns around.)

Jericho: Oh Dave! One last thing, just before I go.

Batista: What?

Jericho: I just wanted to let you know...that next time...you should really fact check before you make hasty decisions.

Batista: Excuse me?

Jericho: Dave, I never went to the office. You're still the General Manager. But after our match...you won't be.

JR: DAMMIT, I KNEW IT! JERICHO JUST SWINDLED OUR GENERAL MANAGER!

(Batista is apoplectic, as is the crowd. Jericho just laughs on his way out.)

[Chris Eco]

(Gorgeous George and Sir Ronald Killings are working out in the gym. They are both dressed to the nines, and therefore sweating profusely.)



George: Say, chap, we certainly did an excellent job of handling those ruffians last week, eh?

Killings: Yeah, man. Too Cool ain't know what hit them.

George: (sigh) Could you *please* say "Too Cool didn't know what hit them"?

Killings: You know what? I'm sick of being your Pygmalion-esque bitch like this.

George: ...when did you ever read Pygmalion?

Killings: Oh, I was looking at your reading list and I noticed Saint Joan, and so I decided to check out other things by George Bernard Shaw.

George: Capital idea. You know, he was also a great socialist thinker.

Killings: Interesting--I mean, that's not the fucking point! (He jumps up and throws off his shirt.)



George: Could you at least fold the shirt?

Killings: Look man, when we go out there at Score to Settle, I need to know we're on the same team. And stipulation or no stipulation, if you're going to treat me as your lackey, like you're better than me, you better not be expecting me to be any help in that TLC match.

George: So what you're saying is you would like me to show...some level of commitment to you, perhaps some level of deference.

Killings: That would be appreciated.

George: Fine. But I'm not going to allow you to revert to your "hood" ways, Mr. Killings. I will not allow you to regress in that way. Instead, I will commit myself in the way you have committed.

(George begins to walk out.)

Killings: Where you going?

(George keeps walking.)

Killings: (sigh) Where might you be headed?

George: I am glad you asked. I am heading over to Miriam's African Hair Braiding to get myself an excellent set of dreadlocks. After that, I am going to go to pay/half and buy myself the largest pair of pants I can find. And at Score to Settle, Sir Ronald Killings will team up with a new partner...Gangster George!

(Gorgeous George walks out as Ronald Killings is incredulous.)

Killings: What the--man, Miriam's isn't even the best place to go!

(He quickly follows.)

[Batman]

Batista is not smart.

[Chris Eco]

Indeed. The more hilarious level is that Jericho wasn't even going to TRY to get the match for the General Management because it would be too obvious, until Batista gave him an opening.


(Sabian and Antonio Rocca are chatting backstage. Well, chatting might be a sort of passive word...)



Sabian: MAN, FUCK YOU CRACKA-ASS CRACKA!



Rocca: I AM GOING TO RIP YOU A NEW ASS-A-HOLE!

(The two are brawling until Batista walks in.)



Batista: What the FUCK is going on?

Sabian: Hey man, he started it.

Rocca: Started it--this dumbass was taking credit for our victory when he just covered the guy I knocked out. And then he hauls off and hits me, when all I did was call him a lazy nig-

(Batista stares at him.)

Rocca: -gardly fellow. Niggardly. Unrelated to the other word.

Batista: You know what? I'm not in a really good FUCKING mood right now. And I'm not going to let you two bickering CHILDREN fuck up my TLC match. We're going up against the Awesome Championship Awesome Wrestling Federation this week, and whatever small chance we have in beating them in buy rates is going to drop if people hear half the TLC competitors are going to spend their time hitting their partner with a chair. So you know what? You two are out of the match. Too Cool isn't doing anything else, so they're back in. Instead, you two will have your stupid Flippy Shit match, and get to beat the shit out of each other and get PAID for it. Does that work?

Sabian: Yes sir.

Rocca: Yes sir.

(Batista walks out.)

Sabian: YOUR STUPID ASS COST US A TITLE SHOT?

Rocca: MY ASS? FUCK YOU, YOU NO-ACCOUNT THUG!

(The two start brawling again.)

[Chris Eco]

(Mil Mascaras is walking back to his locker room, when he is intercepted by Rey Misterio.)



Mascaras: Que necesitas? What do you want from me?

Misterio: Quiero hablar contigo.

Mascaras: Fine. Talk.

Misterio: Mil, three weeks ago you jumped me without warning. Two weeks ago, you tried to injure me in a TLC match you weren't even trying to win. I should hate you. I should despise you. And yet, and yet, I believe you are a good man. Maybe it's just the little boy in me who watched Mil Mascaras wrestle on the television, but I cannot believe you have evil in your heart.

Mascaras: I am glad. But who would you be to pass judgment on me, regardless? To think of what you have done...

Misterio: That's just it, Mil. Don't listen to Santo. He had you jump me last time because he doesn't want to give me a chance to say my peace.



Misterio: Look at my arms, Mil. These are natural. Even if Santo hadn't been lying about the steroids, that would still have been a long time ago.

Mascaras: I have no reason to believe you...

Misterio: Fine. Then let me prove it to you. Let me prove to you that steroids do not comprise my talent. Let me prove to you I did not get my opportunities riding the Guerrero name. Let me prove to you that even if I lost this mask once, I deserved to keep it. Give me a match. Mascaras vs. Misterio.

Mascaras: (looking long and hard at Misterio) You're not going to try to get into the title match?

Misterio: For me right now, your respect means more.

Mascaras: Vale. Fine. I will let Batista know.

(Mascaras continues walking off toward his locker room.)

[Chris Eco]

Okay, new card. Results will be edited in throughout the night.

Consejo Nuevo de Lucha Ligera 3
"Score to Settle"

The Official Entrance Video for the CNLL hits the ConsejoTron 9000 and everyone goes NUTS~!

Opening Promo...from the President of the United States, Barack Obama!

POTUS: My fellow citizens, I welcome you to the third show of the Consejo Nuevo de Lucha Ligera, the New Council of Lightweight Wrestling. CNLL is in a time of change. Not only do we have a new World Champion in CM Punk, but every championship in the company will be contested tonight—including, once again, the General Management of the Council.

As we have learned over the past year, while change can be a force for good, it also by necessity breeds uncertainty and concern for the future. During these times, it is good to hold on to those unchanging pillars of strength in our lives--our friends, our family, our faith. Likewise, although the CNLL faces its strongest competition in ratings yet and its future hangs in the balance, I can assure you that the men and women performing tonight will wrestle with the same mix of athleticism, intelligence and desire that you have come to expect from them. That, at least, will not change. May God bless you, these competitors, and the United States of America.

Flippy Shit Match!
Can Only Be Won Via A Move Where Both Feet Leave the Ground

Sabian vs. Antonio Rocca

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Backstory:
Sabian challenged Antonio Rocca to a match after Rocca claimed "people like him" were ruining America today, which General Manager David Batista then designated a "flippy shit match" where their feet would always leave the ground. Upon the overcrowding of the card, and the introduction of two great NWA Heavyweight Champions toward the end of the match, the two wrestlers were consolidated into a #1 contender's rumble from which they were the first two eliminated. Unimpressed, Batista forced them to delay their singles match further, putting them in an odd-couple tag team to contend for the TLC match given their high-flying expertise. While they were successful in defeating Lou Thesz and Rikidozan in a hardcore match the legends were unfamiliar with, they were subsequently ejected from contention when GM Batista discovered them fighting backstage. Thinking they would be unable to co-exist, Batista brought back the “Flippy Shit Match” so that the two could beat the hell out of each other in the ring.

Highlights:

*Rocca starts off playing mind games with Sabian, jumping up with every punch and kick and armdrag, as though he is about to try a cover. Sabian reverses the offensive by using his natural skill with the ropes to come off with a crossbody for a two-count.
*Sabian pulls Rocca up by both arms and nails a CURB STOMP to Rocca's face! However, Sabian is incapable of understanding that "both feet" leaving the ground means "more than one". He ends up going to the top rope for the Spike Stomp, but Rocca rolls out of the way.
*Sabian comes off the top rope with a lariat, but Rocca jumps up HIGH and nails Sabian with a missile dropkick in midair! Sabian falls to the ground and Rocca goes for the cover! 1-2-3!

Legends Title #1 Contender Scramble
Last to gain a fall after 20 minutes is the #1 Contender

Lou Thesz vs. Rikidozan vs. El Hijo del Santo vs. Giant Baba

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Backstory:
Lou Thesz and Rikidozan faced off against each other and El Santo on the very first show in a "Fathers of Wrestling" Match. It was expected that that match would lead into the awarding of the Legends Title somehow, but Sammartino was able to abuse Batista's "Choose-Your-Stipulation" rule to put the title on the line in his match, rendering Lou Thesz's victory meaningless. Rather than be fast-tracked as a #1 contender, however, he was aced out by Giant Baba following Baba using his Money in the Bank win to gain a Legends Title shot. Baba went on to lose the match and seeks to redeem himself following a win here. Instead, Thesz was forced into a TLC contender's match partnering with Rikidozan in a hardcore match the likes of which they were both unfamiliar with and subsequently lost. El Hijo del Santo has no particular history with these men, but given that Rey Misterio would be wrestling alone on this card, Batista offered to sign him up for the match, assuring him that he had qualified for "Legend" status despite his relatively young age.

Highlights:
*The first fall goes to Giant Baba after Thesz and Rikidozan whip him into the ropes and he comes off with a double clothesline, followed by a running neckbreaker to El Hijo del Santo who he then gets a pin on!
*After Baba is stumbling from a hard overhead chop by Rikidozan, El Hijo del Santo comes off the top rope with a crossbody and manages a pin on the stunned Baba! El Hijo is summarily clotheslined out of the ring by Lou Thesz as Rikidozan low-dropkicks Baba to the outside.
*With Baba and El Hijo outside the ring and the clock winding down, Lou Thesz locks in the STF on Rikidozan. Rikidozan, knowing he will not be able to take Thesz down in a short period of time and thereby lacking incentive to suffer, taps out to the STF. After a few seconds, the clock runs out. Lou Thesz is the #1 Contender!

Grudge Match for the CNLL Legends Title

Bruno Sammartino (c) vs. Pedro Morales

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Backstory:
Batista, noticing Bruno Sammartino and Pedro Morales had dropped surprisingly far in the PWA draft, snatched them both up for a match despite Sammartino's heavyweight status. Sammartino was especially keen on getting a second chance to beat Morales, and abused Batista's Choose-Your-Stipulation offer to make the Legends Title awarded based on the results of their match. Sammartino won the match with rope assistance without Morales knowing. However, Giant Baba had been hot-shotted into a Money in the Bank Rumble earlier that night, using his considerable size to pull out the victory over Daivari at the end. He then challenged Sammartino to a title match immediately after witnessing his chicanery. Baba fell to Sammartino after an injury to his knee, but immediately after Sammartino snubbed Baba at the end of the match, he discovered that "The Hot-Blooded Puerto Rican" Pedro Morales had found out about Sammartino's cheating ways, and had gone to Batista asking for a rematch against the original Italian hero.

Highlights:

*Morales starts off as a House 'o Fire, wailing on Sammartino with punches while Sammartino primarily works on evading, ducking between ropes and weaving back and forth.
*Sammartino shoves Morales shoulder-first into the newly exposed turnbuckle. Sammartino quickly locks in the Italian Hammerlock tight on that same arm, injured last week by Dean Malenko, and forces Morales to the ground. After much struggling and even more cursing, Morales is forced to tap out. Sammartino retains!

U-S-A! U-S-A! Match
Only REALLY AMERICAN Weapons Are Legal (Baseballs, Apple Pie, Grandma, etc.)

Shawn Daivari vs. Ernie Ladd/Karl Malone

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Backstory:
Ernie Ladd, legendary heel and Republican fundraiser, specifically requested to join the company to go after outspoken leftist Shawn Daivari, who had recently become a fan favorite with the liberal Connecticut audience. Upon the overcrowding of the card, and the introduction of two great NWA Heavyweight Champions toward the end of the match, Batista requested that all six wrestlers merge into one rumble for the first show, with the incentive of a #1 Contender shot for any title they wanted in the balance. Daivari went to the end with Giant Baba, but fell short of claiming his World Title Shot. Instead, he faced Ladd in a Flag Match by Ladd's request--with the Iranian flag in one corner and the American flag in another. Victorious against Ladd, he waved both the Iranian and American flag side by side, in a salute to fighters for freedom everywhere. Ladd decided to use his contacts at the front office to up the ante for the following week--securing the contract of fellow African American Republican fundraiser (they're two of the four!) and basketball great Karl Malone in exchange for a handicap match against Daivari, with the intent to silence his constant critiques of US foreign policy, particularly given his new role as a fan favorite.

Highlights:

*Ernie Ladd gets an early advantage by coming in and striking Daivari with a baseball bat to the back, but Daivari catches it on the fourth swing and manages to pop it up into Ladd's nose, fracturing it slightly.
*Outside the ring, Karl Malone chucks an apple pie at Daivari, but Daivari ducks and Ernie Ladd catches it in the face. All have a good laugh, except then Daivari bounds off the barricade and nails Ladd with a leaping shining wizard kick. Karl Malone attempts to pick a grandmother up from the audience to throw at Daivari's head, but they are all rather resistant.
*Karl Malone gets Daivari up for a big vertical suplex, but Daivari powers out and instead lands a double-arm DDT on Malone. He goes up top and pulls out a carpet from behind the turnbuckle with a big ol' American flag on it. Jumps off, MAGIC CARPET RIDE! 1-2-3, that's all she wrote.

Bra and Panties Gauntlet for a Shot at the Women’s Title


Torrie Wilson vs. Major Gunns vs. Lizzy Borden vs. Melina vs. Jacqueline vs. Linda Miles vs. Alicia Fox

[/b] [/center]

Backstory: Oy, where to begin...

Melina was drafted by Batista and was excited to be awarded the CNLL Women's Championship--until she found out it was based on their sexual history alone. She then lost her title in the three-way cage match Batista assigned her to as punishment after Alicia sneak-attacked her and bashed the steel door into her head. As lumberjills in the Beth/Jazz match the following week, both Melina and Torrie (who Alicia had attempted to assault the week before until Melina got involved) went after Alicia, but Alicia incapacitated them both, including a Singapore Cane shot that sent Melina to the hospital after it was found to have aggravated her previous head injury. Meanwhile, Major Gunns had been seeking retribution for Lizzy Borden's humiliation of her in XPW and Linda/Lizzy's assault on her and Jacqueline at the debut show, and got some measure of this following a during-match beatdown at the lumberjill match.

Highlights:
*Major Gunns strips Torrie Wilson while only losing her top, but loses her britches to a belt-wielding Lizzy.
*Lizzy attempts to choke Gunns out when Melina runs in and frees Gunns, stripping Lizzy down in a matter of a minute.
*Jacqueline and Melina have a long back and forth, with Jacqueline losing her top following a tree of woe set-up, but Melina losing her top and bottoms following a Tornado DDT.
*Linda then comes in and a brawl ensues, with Jacqueline finally losing her pants following a Big Boot knockout.
*Alicia enters and stares down Linda. The two then smile at each other and both remove their own clothing at the same time. They are announced as co-winners to the confused audience, with Alicia raising Linda's hand in victory.

JR: Co-Winners? We can't have co-winners! Beth Phoenix will have to deal with a triple threat, with these two obviously in cahoots!

Sadistic Madness Match

David Batista vs. Abdullah the Butcher

[/b] [/center]

Backstory:
From his initial placement as #1 Pick, Jericho was assured a spot in the World Title Match, despite his constant antagonism (and with hired gun Lashley, assault) of GM Batista. In choosing Jericho's match's stipulation, Batista sought a measure of revenge by making his match against the great technical wrestler Dean Malenko a Best of Three Falls match, with the second decided by submission and the third allowing a fall anywhere. Jericho managed to win the match by incapacitating Malenko with a foreign object before executing a huge Lionsault. Batista, incapable of challenging Jericho to a match to get his revenge on him so long as Jericho needed to defend his light-heavyweights-only title, decided to almost force the belt off of Jericho in a four-man gauntlet match which Jericho would start. He was successful in this endeavor, with the belt going to Dean Malenko and then CM Punk. However, Jericho managed to trick Batista into thinking that he had lost his GM authority, convincing him to sign on to a match to be determined later against an unnamed wrestler he had traded Lashley to the NCWF for. That man is Abdullah the Butcher, and in order to wear down Batista sufficiently for their later match, Jericho named it a "Sadistic Madness Match", where your opponent can only be pinned once bleeding.

Quick n' Dirty Result:
Batista is busted and torn open via Abdullah's fork, while Abdullah is busted open by a chair shot from Batista. Abdullah gets the cover following a Sudanese Meat Cleaver elbow drop, after which Batista is seen coughing up blood.

Non-Title Street Fight
If Jazz Loses, She Will Not Receive Another Title Shot

Beth Phoenix (c) vs. Jazz

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Backstory:
Both Beth and Jazz got a shot at Melina's title in the steel cage due to Batista's anger with her, and Beth emerged victorious with the belt. Beth won the title afterward, with Melina partially incapacitated by a sneak-attack by Alicia. Rather than allow Melina a direct chance, Batista chose to give Jazz the rematch for the time being due to his remaining annoyance at the former champion. Jazz was in control for much of the match, but following a hard and awkward bump onto the steel steps from the ring, Jazz was unable to power out of a Phoenix cover. Now, she challenges Beth to One Last Match--non-title, in her traditional setting of a street fight--in order to prove that she deserves to maintain her status as top contender of the women's division.

Quick n' Dirty Result: Jazz wins following a hard shovel shot to the head of Beth, knocking her out cold.

Fight to End the Feud

Rey Misterio vs. Mil Mascaras

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Backstory:
Rey Misterio was originally going to face Malenko and Jericho for the world title, but El Santo, angry about what he saw as Misterio's slights against lucha libre, demanded to face him or quit. When Santo agreed to step into the Legends Match, he was compensated by being replaced with Mil Mascaras and Gory Guerrero (with his own grudges against Rey using his family name) in a handicap match--until his own son, El Hijo de Santo, decided to step in and offer his services as Rey's partner. Due to Rey's status as a former world champion and his original contract stating he would have a world title shot, their tag match was combined into the TLC Match so that Rey's team would have a shot at the tag titles. Rey's team fell short, due in part to the single-minded assault of Mascaras and Guerrero, both during and after the match. With this in mind, GM Batista decided to give them a shot at a rematch, pairing up this time directly against El Santo with the reformation of the great lucha team La Pareja Atomica. The two teams earned the ladder stipulation, in part due to its ubiquity as the means of assault of Guerrero and Mascaras in the TLC match.

Highlights:
*Mil Mascaras actually attempts to ground Rey Misterio (unlike every other Mil Mascaras match, where he is being grounded), but after a successfull slam, he goes up top for the crossbody but is kicked to the outside by Rey Misterio.
*Rey Misterio wins following a 619, followed up by a Super Hurricarana and finally a Tornado DDT. Mascaras and Misterio shake hands after the match.

#1 Contender’s Match for the CNLL Light Heavyweight Championship

Chris Jericho vs. Dean Malenko

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Backstory:

Leading up to their original match to decide the inaugural CNLL Light Heavyweight Champion, Dean Malenko remained mostly silent and in training as Chris Jericho ran his mouth--though both scrupulously avoided criticizing the other, in part due to their long history together in WCW. At their Best of Three Falls Match, Jericho cheated to win the final fall after their count had gone 1-1. Malenko qualified for the second spot in the Batista-designed gauntlet match after a hard-won victory over Pedro Morales, and ended up defeating Jericho for the title after Jericho had put away Jerry Lynn. However, Punk was able to sneak attack Malenko immediately following his match, getting the 1-2-3 and taking the title for himself. This dual loss allowed both Jericho and Malenko to invoke their rematch clause, with this match determining whose will be given precedence.

*Quick n' Dirty Result: Malenko has Jericho up for the underhook powerbomb, but Jericho nails him with an unseen pair of brass knuckles. Malenko is able to follow through on the powerbomb, but not to capitalize. Both opponents have their legs on top of each other, leading to a double-count by Shinya. Shinya argues with officials following the match, but the decision is unclear.

Tables, Ladders and Chairs Match for the CNLL Tag Team Championships


3 Count (Hurricane and Shannon Moore) (c) vs. La Pareja Atomica (El Santo and Gory Guerrero) vs. Too Cool (Grandmaster Sexay and Scotty 2 Hotty) vs. Sir Ronald Killings/Gangster George

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Backstory: Everything that's happened in this entire company.

Well, not quite. 3 Count was reformed when both Shannon Moore and Hurricane were drafted from the Matte Wrestling Federation, and Shannon Moore pulled Hurricane into the tag team clearly against his will. To his great chagrin, Hurricane witnessed Shannon Moore take the belts down from the ladder in the inaugural TLC match, making them the tag team champions. Batista decided to grant Hurricane his wish, giving him a shot at the World Title Gauntlet--but Shannon Moore's ill-timed interference disqualified him in his qualifying match against CM Punk. After El Santo brought Gory Guerrero back to the company to help him in his war on Rey Misterio, he decided to reform the legendary tag team of La Pareja Atomica after Mascaras/Guerrero failed to win the first TLC, with La Pareja qualifying after defeating Rey Misterio and El Santo's own son, El Hijo del Santo. Ron Killings and Gorgeous George became a tag team after Killings lost a match to George and became his "protege", Sir Ronald Killings. Despite defeating Too Cool, Killings was still hesitant on trusting George (who cheated to win their protege match). As a means of gaining Killings's trust, George decided to reform his appearance as Killings did for him, becoming "Gangster George". Meanwhile, Too Cool was able to get in this gauntlet match despite their loss to Killings/George after the team of Sabian/Rocca imploded.

Highlights:
*Hurricane and Scotty 2 Hotty are fighting atop a table. Hurricane Hurri-chokeslams Scotty off the table, only to then be put through the table by an El Santo dive from the top rope! El Santo bounds up, grabbing his wrists, but is met with a chair shot by Gangsta George.

GG: I RUN THESE STREETS, YO!

*Three ladders are set up in the middle of the ring--Grandmaster Sexay climbing one and Gory Guerrero and Ronald Killings atop the two others. Santo pushes Killings over, causing him to fall fifteen feet to the outside of the ring--where he is caught by Gangsta George!

Leno: Shit! What a lucky catch!

*Gory Guerrero marvels at the catch as well, only to have his ladder kicked over by Grandmaster Sexay, sending him plummeting to the floor. Grandmaster has the belts! Too Cool wins the CNLL TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS!



*After the match, Shannon Moore attacks Hurricane with a chair, screaming that he never cared about him or his success. He storms out of the arena to a veritable HURRICANE of boos.

CNLL Light Heavyweight Title Match

CM Punk (c) vs. Jerry Lynn

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Backstory:

When CM Punk cheerfully introduced Jerry Lynn and tried to bond over their status as former ECW champions, Lynn expressed his discontent with the current version of ECW vis-a-vis the original. Ever the self-righteous prick, Punk verbally tore apart the old ECW, basically calling its wrestlers degenerate wife-beating druggies. This confrontation led to a Hardcore Match, with weapons provided by the fans in Bridgeport. CM Punk was victorious in that contest after a nasty Pepsi Plunge to Lynn through a barbed-wire covered table. However, GM Batista was so impressed by the effort of (and the fans' reaction to) Jerry Lynn that he offered him a shot in the Gauntlet. Lynn beat Mil Mascaras to qualify for the first spot in the gauntlet, but after being worn down by that first match he was not able to put away a fresh Light Heavyweight Champion in Chris Jericho. Meanwhile, CM Punk was given a chance to contend for the final seed since he had previously beaten Lynn. He easily won his match against Hurricane due to Moore prompting a disqualification, and was able to take advantage of a weakened Malenko who had just fought his second match of the night to deliver a GTS and become Light Heavyweight Champion.

Quick n' Dirty Result:
CM Punk wins with a GTS assisted with a loaded kneepad.

Match for the General Management of CNLL

Chris Jericho vs. David Batista (c)

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Backstory:

All the back story on the Batista match + the fact that Jericho saw an opportunity in Batista's anger over Jericho's claims of General Management acquisition to not only insert the Abdullah match, but to make the Batista v. Jericho match a means of getting the General Management for himself, finally putting Batista under his control and protecting him from any difficult stipulation on his LH Title rematch should he win that match as well.

Quick n' Dirty Result:
*Jericho comes out rolling the bloody Batista on the stretcher as the crowd boos. He lets the stretcher roll down the ramp, causing Batista to crash head-first into the ring apron.
*Jericho then stomps on Batista, finally rolling him into the ring and going for the cover. 1-2-BATISTA KICKS OUT!
*Jericho wails on Batista with his fists, but Batista manages to push him off and take him down with a SPINEBUSTER! 1-2-No! Jericho kicked out in time despite being stunned.
*Jericho finally clips the stumbling and bleeding Batista off at the knees and locks in the Walls of Jericho. Batista is screaming and bleeding profusely, but refuses to quit. Eventually, after coughing up some more blood, he passes out in the hold from the pain and blood loss.
*Jericho refuses to let go of the hold for a while until security pulls him off. He then grabs a microphone.



Jericho: Hey assclowns! Did you forget that I am your new boss? Now let me discipline my own employee the way I want to discipline him!

The security guards oblige, and Jericho comes back in the ring with two chairs, slipping one under Batista's head. SINGLE-MAN CON-CHAIR-TO!

JR: NOT THIS WAY! NOT THIS WAY!

And ANOTHER! And ANOTHER! And ANOTHER! Jericho delivers a total of seven as the audience is throwing trash in the ring and booing.

Children are crying in the audience.




Jericho: You don't like that very much, huh? Too FUCKING bad! Dave wanted to screw me over, wanted to take away my title, and now he's paying the damn price!

Jericho brings the chair down on Dave's head again and again and again. Eventually, with the steel on the chair tinted red from the blood, he stops and rolls out of the ring as the EMT's swarm in.

JR: DAMMIT, JERICHO, DAMMIT! BATISTA MAY BE DEAD! HE DOESN'T CARE! HE'S A DAMN ANIMAL!

EMT: (audibly) We're going to need some more help out here...

(Fade out.)

Featuring The Best Announce Team in the Business, Jim Ross and Jay Leno!


And Your Referee...Shinya Hashimoto!

[Batman]

Hijo is in the legends division? Not that he isn't a legend, but he's a lot younger than anyone else in the division.

I love Obama's promos. Great card. Looking forward to seeing those results.