Hey, I found ones that might like it when you get all donw and dirty with 'em! If you listen, you can softly hear them calling out to you!




(Oh yeah. I went there.)

Why is everyone assuming it really is Courtney? I think Gator's lust for her 15 lb cock has finally gotten to his head and now he's become her.

Toldja. I hope you were at least doing something else constructive while watching that abortion. Like surfing for Smurfette porn.

1. Pizza Maker - TRUE. It was a decent enough job. But I was only getting 10 hours or so each week so I moved on.

2.Ticket Ripper - TRUE. I loved this job. I met my wife here and I got to watch movies for free. Any movie I was slightly interested in I saw for free plus got free popcorn and soda. I miss the theater.

3.Pooper Scooper - FALSE. I never did the Disney College Program. Right after I graduated I got a job directly into Finance. This little tale is one they do tell about one of our executives who did start his career by scooping poop in the parade.

I get migraine headaches, but not nearly as many as my job thinks I get.....

I just got an e-mail from my sister, who's a staffing agent. They use the same Wonderlic I took yesterday. Here's what she had to say about it:

Tex - Paralyzed
Cort - Ankle
Sal - Back to the Future
Solly - Broken Nose
Moose - Bike Wreck
Scotty - Tree House
DocX - Sledding
MKid - Basketball
CiG - Track sucks - freebie!
Punker - Broken Arm
Lucky - Dorm Football


2 of 10. Wow. I'm awful.

Glad some of you enjoyed the car stories. Believe it or not, I have more.

What can I say? I'm a car magnet. They love me. And they want to show that love by hurling at my body and causing me as much pain as possible.

My brother said it best when he observed that it is sad yet funny that I now have to break my car accidents down by category. Okay, was I in a vehicle or not? Not - check. Now, was it serious enough that it required a hospital? It was - check.

Yeah, I haven't been here so here's mine:

1) Vincent-- The beginning part is true, but the last part is False. Vince and the dude never went at it. At least not at our apartment. But I swear Vince is gay.

2) Burger King-- True and I told her never to talk about to me about her sex life ever again.

3) Excuse Me-- True and Liz and I never spoke about it again.

Wait a second, I thought that was already going on.

Snap out of it, Ryan. I really don't feel like insulting you, because it's no fun when you ask for it. Pay some fat chick to beat you up if you crave humilation.

Happy belated birthday! Hope you let the kids out of their cage to celebrate.

I used two different pics for this.

Bearded:
Philip Seymour Hoffman
Dominic Monaghan
Ben Stiller
Johnny Depp

Non-bearded:
Christian Slater
Jim Carrey
Harvey Keitel

Do the beans need to be edited for style or content at all?

This guy sounds like he created the recipe for the GHEYest snow fort ever. Candles and books? YUCK. Back when I was a kid we created tunnels and all that jazz but they were meant to plan for attack of an adjacent snow fort that wasn't nearly as awesome as the one myself and my friends built. We had a similar deal as Pun did. I live on a cul-de sac and all the snow from the cul-de-sac would get piled into one side and it would make at least a 15 foot pile of snow. Perfect to go around the back and dig in just make a whole network of caves. Just up the road from our cul-de-sac there would be another pile of snow that some other kids would build a snow fort. We always had an agreement that we wouldn't attack until each side was ready and that would sometimes last like 2-3 weeks until we could be fully complete. It would all basically end in the full destruction of our work but it was awesome. As much as our network of tunnels was teh awesome, I will say the neighbors had done something cool at least once. They completely dug out an entire heap of snow that was about 8 feet tall. They had dug out an entire square that had 7 foot high walls that were also about 5 feet thick. Needless to say, we didn't far well in that war as we just couldn't penetrate their defenses. Even at an early age, I was into the army stuff. When you live in Minnesota you have to make due during the winter and that meant sledding and building amazing snow forts. So, cocoa and candles boy has nothing on me.

Jooi$h Bastard - MJ
Moose - Living in a Box
Court - Dog
Keds1 - The Red Head
Tex - Just Use Bleach
BTR - Slut. Because that one implies you had sex with your ex, a real live girl, and we know that can't be true.
Mkid - Boy Scount Prank
Lucky - GTA


An awesome 2 for 8. Go me!

Huh. I guess I can understand it. I know other OO guys who have said stuff like that before. I guess it just seems odd to think I'm giving off any real "bad ass" vibe. But I can understand why it comes from stories and such. I guess I just figure that in the real world the bouts of cops and bouncers and brawls and whatever are just the anecdotes to an otherwise very "unbadass" demeanor.

I was working crew on an indy film with a lot of people from my college in senior year and I was roped into some of the acting classes. There was some weird game where you had to stand still and quiet while someone was in your face berating you. The director decided to grab 9 of the big/intimidating crew guys to play with the 9 main cast members and we were told to do anything we wanted to try and break them short of physical contact. Truthfully, I don't even remember anything particular I said to my guy but apparently I succesfully managed to freak out a few ladies who knew me who were watching and who said I had slipped into a pretty nasty character. So that instance of "bad ass" was apparently strange enough to shock them.

Huh...

I'll play this, I'm just too lazy to make sure I remember everyone.

Thanks Loki. You've halfway succeeded at least.